Yesterday was just one of those days. The kind where I wondered if it was too early to start drinking at 9am (and I don’t drink – but it felt like a good day to start). But two screaming girls was driving me nutty. So we went to the park to try for some fresh air and I spilled out our sand toys in the sand. When suddenly kids came for the toys like ants to a picnic. And the fighting began over sharing toys and sand throwing and suddenly I literally thought I felt my head spinning around on my torso. I can not handle my own kids today and there is no way I can handle this other kid who wont stop crying because he wants my daughters shovel. Insisting it was his, I even found myself snapping and telling him “it’s really our shovel” something I never ever do.
In a moment of panic I looked around where was his caregiver? Why was she/he not here this kid was clearly overreacting carrying on and crying for a good 10 min. Finally his nanny came over and dragged him away … Thank God! We packed up our toys I could not attract any more children today. I did not have the strength to make Ila share and teach her the meaning of kindness and generosity. Two cranky kids was my limit for the day. And suddenly I wondered why my fuze was so short? Usually I could tolerate hours on end of whining and screaming and “mommy what are you doing”. But this past week I found my self literally spent, even when Ava dropped a spoon I actually jumped from the noise I was so on edge.
Another mom told me “this is why mom’s suddenly have amnesia and disappear for 10 years” – forget the kids time out, I needed a time out. I needed to be in a quite space to recharge and relax. I needed a break. And I explained to my children that even mommies need a time out. Even mommies sometimes have big feelings. And put them down for their nap and locked myself in my room for an hour while they slept!