I was talking to my neighbor who is also a child psychologist and has 3 girls who are very close. I asked her how she did that. Ila and Ava are inseparable and adore one another now but I want to make sure it sticks. She said she taught her older kids to mother her younger kids. So it was more of a maternal caring love than a competitive love. They also came to her aid when one of the kids was fighting with her, the other would come and hug her and care for her. The 3 girls truly take care of one another.
Another tip was to keep them sharing a room as long as possible. Let them share (although they have been sharing panties and toothbrushes which is a little too much sharing for my taste). But sharing is caring they really love to be around one another. And want to share a room. And by sharing they learn to respect one another’s space and needs.
We also buy family toys unless it is a special gift or object like their lovey. Because they are both girls and so close in age and we do not have the space we cannot have two of everything. They are very good about sharing with one another and taking turns.
We also buy on a as needed basis not an equal basis, sometimes Ila needs new shoes but that by no means dictates that Ava gets new shoes. When they need something they know they get it. They are secure that they are taken care of.
And they are both adored and complimented and we mind one another how beautiful their sister is and they love each other. Who knows i3 years they might be fighting over cars and boys. But until then I will take the love.